the weight.

Im fat.
flabby.
huge.
obese.
and Im not a idiot. i know the simple steps to fix the problem.
eat less junk. eat more fruit and vege and most importantly : MOVE!!!
walk, swim, ride ( no jogging for me thanks anyway!)
my biggest issues are motivation and time ( yes i know that the time spent writing this could be spent walking around the block, thanks for pointing that out).
if you count my blog posts though you will see its not writing that stops me from exercising. no its 3 little people, one adult male and house work that hold me back.
if washing dishes burnt decent amounts of calories I'd be thin as a whip.
sadly this isn't to be.
with Mr p in his leg cast I have learnt to push a wheelchair and a pram simultaneously but not over great distances or un even surfaces. I wish I was that talented as this coming Friday there is a walk being held to raise money and awareness for white ribbon day.
white ribbon day spreads the word that violence against women will not be tolerated.
the motto of the day is "not violent. not silent"
its about taking a oath not to commit violence against women nor to remain silent when you see or hear violence against women.
its a cause close to my heart so Im hoping someone might come with me and help me push my boys along.
anyway back to our weighty topic.
Its hard living in my body now.
Im 120kg.
Im uncomfortable.
Im heavy.
Im sad.
i hurt every day.
i don't look nice.
i don't even feel like myself.
i don't want to be touched or looked at.
some days i do well. others i just consume. hating myself and punishing myself by eating again.
your advice on diet pills or sly comments don't help honestly.
I need time. precious time.
to swim to be free to move the distance required to strip this grease from my skin and soul.
and then maybe i can care enough to eat right too.